20 Status Updates
1: I'm not schizophrenic... and neither am I.
2: Every time I hear the phrase, "Be fruitful and multiply." I picture Paul Lynde working on a math problem.
3: ...And now for my next trick, I shall turn beer into pee.
4: (Matty) just buried his poor dog..........................alive.
5: Has decided to stop talking to everyone, let me know how I'm doing & I'll get back to you.
6: burned 850 calories at the gym. That's like, ummm, worth 6 Guinness draughts tonight, right? (MCB)
7: has the attention span of a
8: Soylent Green is Clowns!!!! That’s why it tastes funny!!!
9: Forcing mimes to talk.
10: The parking lot attendant at the Betty Ford Clinic is the bravest man in the world.
11. is feeling nice today... tomorrow I might put a couple of sharp rocks under the Slip -N- Slide.
12. Is developing an immunity to Iocane Powder.
13. Started watching Locked up Abroad until I realized it wasn’t what I thought.
14. Watched an episode of The Naked Archaeologist.... again, not what it sounds like.
15. Noticed half a moth in my glass of water this morning. (hmmmmmm...)
16. When I heard the knock at the door say "Alcohol, Tobacco, and firearms", naturally, I thought it was a delivery! (MW)
17. wonders what metaphor a brick might choose for rapid falling. (SC)
18. If at first you don't succeed skydiving is not for you. (MW)
19. has an enormous schwanzstucker.
20. ThE sPiN iS rOoMiNg
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